Showing posts with label Two Industrious Ferrets. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Two Industrious Ferrets. Show all posts

A Literal "Shit Storm"

If you are squeamish, I'll implore you to stop reading now.

Anyways, we went to go dump the black water tank on the RV the other day. If you don't know what the black water tank is, well... it's the crap tank. It was full beyond full. As soon as I went to pull the lever on the valve, it broke off right in my hand. You probably don't know what this means. Let's just say that all 20+ gallons of human waste was left trapped behind a broken gate that would not open. In order to fix this, you have to replace the valve.

Well, this sounds simple until you realize that when you take off the valve box, there will be a Niagara Falls of rancid crap that will fly out of the thing.

Want to know what's even better? You have to be laying under this thing to get the valve off.

So, knowing all of this could not prepare us for the reality of what 20 gallons of rancid urine and feces would do once it found a hole to break out of. Do you know what it's like to be sprayed by that? It was literally a gusher of poo spraying all over the dump station. My dear sweet wife had enough balls to try and stick the sewer hose in it to control the flow, which only stopped maybe half and left her arms covered and spray on her shirt and face.

So, after many many many long minutes of washing, scrubbing, hosing, and rubbing myself down with enough hand sanitizer to kill an elephant, I'm proud to say we now have a working valve again.


The Ferrets Have Gone Rogue ( and you can win free stuff)

We have quite the dilemma on our hands. We had 50 ferrets, and they've busted out. They're hiding all over the shop, and we don't know what to do. So, we need your help. The 50 ferrets are scattered all over the pictures of our items. Being cute and doing the things they do. Of course, we have to reward you handsomely for your help.



The rules are simple:

1) Whomever finds the most ferrets wins $20 worth of free items (no strings attached). The next best wins $8 worth, and the one after then wins $5.

2) Just go ahead and convo us (in chunks and not one at a time, please!) or email us at FindTheFerrets@gmail.com with the titles of the listings you've found. We'll be keeping track of the results (you might want to keep record yourself, just to be sure.)

3) When the contest is over, we'll announce the winners. Should we get multiple people finding all 50 there will be a drawing for the top 3 slots.

4) Contest runs from May 26th- June 2nd


By the way the little guy you are looking for looks like this:
*Hint: Only their little bums or eyes may be peering out.

Ferrets are Half Assed Luddites

Yes, the ferrets are starting to become half-assed Luddites. If you don’t know what a Luddite is, well, they’re people who think technology is evil. I don’t think all technology is evil, but I really can’t say I’m fond of the path it’s taking. And by not fond, I mean: the robots are going to eat your soul and enslave you forever. If you think I’m being dramatic, you’re completely right. I’m not going to become a slave to the robots. They’re not very friendly, and they smell like cabbage.

I’m not going to spend hours talking about the intricacies of the subject. I’m not even going to get into little things like facts and statistics. Those are for the birds. I’m going off pure instinct, and half remembered stuff I’ve read lately.

The first half remembered article that sticks in my mind featured lots of nifty photoshops of people magically ordering shoes off the Internet from thin air. There were also lots of little bubbles hanging over people’s heads that displayed tons of information about them that no one cared about. I think the gist of it was that you can go on a date with someone, and they’ll know all about you. Great. Who needs to get to know someone when a ghostly info bubble appears over their head telling you all you need to know? I’m not sure how this info bubble got there. Maybe these people have eye computers or special glasses. That’s not important. What is important is this: the bubble thing isn’t an inherently bad idea because of people filled out those bubbles like they filled out their Facebook profiles, I’d damned well know who to avoid. I also remember said article saying that computers will be 32.6357x more powerful, and they’ll put you out of work. Remember that slavery thing I told you about a minute ago? Enjoy your new computer overlords.

Also, apparently, you can pay for crap with your cell phone now. Yippee. If my track record with cell phones is any indication, I wouldn’t trust mine to be used as a paperweight. It’s only going to take a handful of morons who end up giving Joe at the Chevron their entire bank account before people realize that’s a bad idea. I’ll take this one step further. PayPal offers a nice moronic app (app is moronspeak for “I’m too lazy to say application and I’m dumb as hell“) that also sits wrong with me. If you and one of your fellow moron friends have a Draconian Closed Mobile Tether (hereby referred to as an iPhone), you can bump each other money. I think a better feature would be the ability to bump your iPhone into a brick wall and shatter it. It, and all smartphones, are truly unnecessary devices for most of the world. If I have to explain why, then you need a kick to the neck. You don’t need to be connected everywhere you go. You don’t need applications to count your butt hairs or tell you what eco-friendly restaurant serves tapas in 3 block radius at a whim. Do something else. Talk to someone in the store next to you. Don’t sit there fidgeting with your stupid gadget. You look like an asshole.

I’m getting long winded, and this entry is starting to suck. I’ll try and wrap it up. There is nothing inherently wrong with computers or technology. However, you do not need it wherever you go. And, it does not need to be tied into everything you do. I’m sure you’ve all felt the frustration of a retail store’s computers on the fritz, and you can’t even buy a damn loaf of bread. Well, imagine the frustration when that happens to the entire world you live in. That’s the price we pay for trying to make our lives easier through technology. Everything just gets more complex and ridiculous.

Mark it 8 Dude,
Cranky Ferret

It's That Time Again...

... well it should have been that time about a week and a half ago, but it kinda slipped my mind.

It's time to give away the advertising spots on the left side of the blog again.

Since I like how it went last month we shall do something in that vain again.


Free Advertising, for a Full Month, Instructions:

1) Write a poem or song that describes a ferret without using the word ferret (or weasel) once.

2) Follow my blog if you haven't already.

- You may entire as many times as you want before Wednesday May 12th at 12pm PST
- Additional points awarded for humor
- Additional points also awarded for spamming this contest about the interwebs (leave a link to where you spammed us)

Giveaway Winner is...

According to Random.org the Winning # is 6! According to my calculations...


The winner of the 500 fan giveaway is Ms. Amy Marks of Stella Relics!


Woohooo, big round of applause, drum roll, whatever have you!

Also check out her really neat shop at: http://www.etsy.com/shop/stellarrelics

We're the Featured Zibbeter!

Woohoo!!!!!!

We're on the front page and have an interview on Zibbet, Look!


http://www.zibbet.com/blog/2010.04.26/featured-zibbeter-twoindustriousferrets

Also, our entire Zibbet (and etsy) shop is 30% off for the rest of the week so be sure to take a look!

http://www.zibbet.com/TwoIndustriousFerrets

Imagine If the Tea Party Was Black

Something interesting I read...

"Imagine if the Tea Party was Black- Tim Wise

Let’s play a game, shall we? The name of the game is called “Imagine.” The way it’s played is simple: we’ll envision recent happenings in the news, but then change them up a bit. Instead of envisioning white people as the main actors in the scenes we’ll conjure - the ones who are driving the action - we’ll envision black folks or other people of color instead. The object of the game is to imagine the public reaction to the events or incidents, if the main actors were of color, rather than white. Whoever gains the most insight into the workings of race in America, at the end of the game, wins.

So let’s begin.

Imagine that hundreds of black protesters were to descend upon Washington DC and Northern Virginia, just a few miles from the Capitol and White House, armed with AK-47s, assorted handguns, and ammunition. And imagine that some of these protesters —the black protesters — spoke of the need for political revolution, and possibly even armed conflict in the event that laws they didn’t like were enforced by the government? Would these protester — these black protesters with guns — be seen as brave defenders of the Second Amendment, or would they be viewed by most whites as a danger to the republic? What if they were Arab-Americans? Because, after all, that’s what happened recently when white gun enthusiasts descended upon the nation’s capital, arms in hand, and verbally announced their readiness to make war on the country’s political leaders if the need arose.

Imagine that white members of Congress, while walking to work, were surrounded by thousands of angry black people, one of whom proceeded to spit on one of those congressmen for not voting the way the black demonstrators desired. Would the protesters be seen as merely patriotic Americans voicing their opinions, or as an angry, potentially violent, and even insurrectionary mob? After all, this is what white Tea Party protesters did recently in Washington.

Imagine that a rap artist were to say, in reference to a white president: “He’s a piece of shit and I told him to suck on my machine gun.” Because that’s what rocker Ted Nugent said recently about President Obama.

Imagine that a prominent mainstream black political commentator had long employed an overt bigot as Executive Director of his organization, and that this bigot regularly participated in black separatist conferences, and once assaulted a white person while calling them by a racial slur. When that prominent black commentator and his sister — who also works for the organization — defended the bigot as a good guy who was misunderstood and “going through a tough time in his life” would anyone accept their excuse-making? Would that commentator still have a place on a mainstream network? Because that’s what happened in the real world, when Pat Buchanan employed as Executive Director of his group, America’s Cause, a blatant racist who did all these things, or at least their white equivalents: attending white separatist conferences and attacking a black woman while calling her the n-word.

Imagine that a black radio host were to suggest that the only way to get promoted in the administration of a white president is by “hating black people,” or that a prominent white person had only endorsed a white presidential candidate as an act of racial bonding, or blamed a white president for a fight on a school bus in which a black kid was jumped by two white kids, or said that he wouldn’t want to kill all conservatives, but rather, would like to leave just enough—“living fossils” as he called them—“so we will never forget what these people stood for.” After all, these are things that Rush Limbaugh has said, about Barack Obama’s administration, Colin Powell’s endorsement of Barack Obama, a fight on a school bus in Belleville, Illinois in which two black kids beat up a white kid, and about liberals, generally.

Imagine that a black pastor, formerly a member of the U.S. military, were to declare, as part of his opposition to a white president’s policies, that he was ready to “suit up, get my gun, go to Washington, and do what they trained me to do.” This is, after all, what Pastor Stan Craig said recently at a Tea Party rally in Greenville, South Carolina.

Imagine a black radio talk show host gleefully predicting a revolution by people of color if the government continues to be dominated by the rich white men who have been “destroying” the country, or if said radio personality were to call Christians or Jews non-humans, or say that when it came to conservatives, the best solution would be to “hang ‘em high.” And what would happen to any congressional representative who praised that commentator for “speaking common sense” and likened his hate talk to “American values?” After all, those are among the things said by radio host and best-selling author Michael Savage, predicting white revolution in the face of multiculturalism, or said by Savage about Muslims and liberals, respectively. And it was Congressman Culbertson, from Texas, who praised Savage in that way, despite his hateful rhetoric.

Imagine a black political commentator suggesting that the only thing the guy who flew his plane into the Austin, Texas IRS building did wrong was not blowing up Fox News instead. This is, after all, what Anne Coulter said about Tim McVeigh, when she noted that his only mistake was not blowing up the New York Times.

Imagine that a popular black liberal website posted comments about the daughter of a white president, calling her “typical redneck trash,” or a “whore” whose mother entertains her by “making monkey sounds.” After all that’s comparable to what conservatives posted about Malia Obama on freerepublic.com last year, when they referred to her as “ghetto trash.”

Imagine that black protesters at a large political rally were walking around with signs calling for the lynching of their congressional enemies. Because that’s what white conservatives did last year, in reference to Democratic party leaders in Congress.

In other words, imagine that even one-third of the anger and vitriol currently being hurled at President Obama, by folks who are almost exclusively white, were being aimed, instead, at a white president, by people of color. How many whites viewing the anger, the hatred, the contempt for that white president would then wax eloquent about free speech, and the glories of democracy? And how many would be calling for further crackdowns on thuggish behavior, and investigations into the radical agendas of those same people of color?

To ask any of these questions is to answer them. Protest is only seen as fundamentally American when those who have long had the luxury of seeing themselves as prototypically American engage in it. When the dangerous and dark “other” does so, however, it isn’t viewed as normal or natural, let alone patriotic. Which is why Rush Limbaugh could say, this past week, that the Tea Parties are the first time since the Civil War that ordinary, common Americans stood up for their rights: a statement that erases the normalcy and “American-ness” of blacks in the civil rights struggle, not to mention women in the fight for suffrage and equality, working people in the fight for better working conditions, and LGBT folks as they struggle to be treated as full and equal human beings.

And this, my friends, is what white privilege is all about. The ability to threaten others, to engage in violent and incendiary rhetoric without consequence, to be viewed as patriotic and normal no matter what you do, and never to be feared and despised as people of color would be, if they tried to get away with half the shit we do, on a daily basis.

Game Over.

Tim Wise is among the most prominent anti-racist writers and activists in the U.S. Wise has spoken in 48 states, on over 400 college campuses, and to community groups around the nation. Wise has provided anti-racism training to teachers nationwide, and has trained physicians and medical industry professionals on how to combat racial inequities in health care. His latest book is called Between Barack and a Hard Place.

The Cult of Ferretry

I have reached 500 fans on Facebook. Woot!

In honor of this I'm doing a $10 giveaway, all you have to do is comment in the "500 fan" discussion tab.

So to participate in the insanity, go here:
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Two-Industrious-Ferrets-Jewelry-Supply/221572436250

Why This Humble Author Thinks Macs Suck

I'll come right out and say it: Macs suck. I'm sorry if that offends you. I'm just calling it how it is. I'd be defensive if I paid a king's ransom on something that really isn't that spectacular. Hell, I defend Onan generators and mine has been nothing but hell. It's probably because I keep dumping money into it, and it's still an asshole. Everyone says they're the best, but honestly, mine is the generator from the 9th circle. It's also 30 years old. But, it's running. At least for today.

Now, before you accuse me of having some deep rooted anti-Mac bias, I'll correct you. My first computer was an Apple II. I cut my teeth on Power Macs in middle school. I learned my graphic design skills on G3's and G4's. I have spent a decent chunk of my formative years goofing with them. Back when they were called Macintosh. Back when they were actually something different.

So, here's my list of gripes:

1. You just spent roughly 2000 dollars on your MacBook Pro. Congrats, you've been ripped off. The component specs aren't much different than my Toshiba laptop we purchased a few months back. Guess what? We paid 1/3rd of the amount you did. And I can fix it myself if something breaks on it.

2. The myth that "creative" software runs much better on a Mac died when they decided to get rid of the PowerPC line. Guess what? You have an Intel processor just like I do. And guess what? You don't run Photoshop any faster than I do.

3. I don't know where this myth that OS X is so much easier to use came from. Maybe I severely overestimate the intelligence of people. I was able to reinstall MS-DOS 6.22 and Windows 3.11 from scratch in 8th grade. That wasn't very hard, and it's become much easier over time. And, any tweaks most people will do in Windows are so easy that your garden variety windowlicker could do it blindfolded and tied to a chair.

4. Apple is now more restrictive than Microsoft. Go figure. Also, hardly anyone develops for Mac. Bummer.

5. I can build my own PC from scratch. Can you do that with a Mac? Nope. Of course, going with my kneejerk reaction that most Mac users are just a notch above mouth breather, they probably have no interest in such things. Which is all well and good. I'm just saying that if you can put together a Lego set, you can build a computer.

6. And now we arrive at the virus myth. First, no one makes viruses for Mac because hardly anyone uses Macs. It's not that they're virus-proof, it's that no one cares. And also, the easiest way to catch a virus on a PC is being a complete dip and either trying to pirate software from an obviously skuzzy source, or cruising the back alleys of the Interwebs for bad porno. Either way, if your excuse for leaving PC's for Macs was viruses, you're either a thief or a dirty pervert.

7. Apple fan"persons" are probably the most annoying folk on the damn planet, hands down.

8. If you hate Windows, there's always Linux. Which isn't much different than Mac OS X. And, it can be free. Everyone likes free. Unless you're a hipster douche who wants to stand out at Starbucks.

I could think of more, but I don't want to. You know where I stand. Buy a real computer, not some shiny toy that thinks it's a computer.

Love and kisses,
The Cranky Ferret

Buy My Carp!!!


Let me make you an offer you can't refuse...

TODAY ONLY if you buy $20 worth of items get $5 worth of beads of your choosing FREE!


Message me to take me up on this offer or pick your poison and tell me what you want free in thee message to seller and you shall receive ;-)



Etsy: Your place to buy & sell all things handmade
TwoIndustriousFerret.etsy.com

What is the Point of Stealing Ferrets?

"Police in Mexico City have rescued 150 ferrets from armed robbers after a high speed chase.

Police say they found the furry contraband after the suspects crashed their car into a tree and then fled on foot.

Fourteen boxes of ferrets imported from the U.S. were taken by force by three robbers from a truck after it left the Mexico City airport. Two suspects are under arrest and another escaped.

Police said Friday that a veterinarian who purchased the ferrets reclaimed them.

The ferrets were unharmed."

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/WaterCooler/wireStory?id=9638906


Where do you go with that? What are you plotting? How does this benefit you? Are you going to start a bathtub ferret terrorism ring? I bet they were Nihilists...

Just a Quick Update and Some Pictures....

We are expanding! I've added an artfire and Zibbet account. I'm pretty stoked about both! If you use the code "NEWZIBBET" at checkout on the Zibbet shop you'll receive an automatic 25% off at checkout. Test it out for me ;-) I'm pretty excited I can do discounts and coupons with this venue. Take a look at both and tell me what you think:

http://www.zibbet.com/TwoIndustriousFerrets
http://www.artfire.com/users/TwoIndustriousFerretsSupplyCo


We've also been featured as a successful seller on a blog. Who knew we were successful huh? Either way if you went a little look into our minds and to give Katherine's blog some love check it out here:

http://www.kathleenmcgiveron.com/2010/04/6th-of-31-days-31-artists.html#comments



And now for something completely different.... travel Pictures!







Happy Easter!

(Okay so I got bored this morning, give me a break!)

So, Why are Ferrets the Coolest?


I am giving away 5 free advertising spots for the month on my blog, I believe in supporting our fellow artists not charging them a butt ton to show off.

But I'm going to make you work for it.

Go to by blog and follow it, then leave me a one paragraph explanation of why ferrets are the coolest animals ever created.

Bonus points awarded for creativity ;-)

I'll give it 24 hours, and the 5 best posts will be sent a message to gather their info. The spots are the 150x150px squares on the left.

Have fun!

California is the Windiest Place I Have Ever Been

Maybe someone from California can answer me here, but is the whole state a terrifying white knuckle experience to drive?!

So we had heard that you can stay in casino parking lots in Laughlin NV for free, we were looking for somewhere to get jobs easily and this was about 150 miles from where we were. Sounds okay right? I'm not a gambler but you'd think casino should have some cheesy jobs a monkey could do right? Well we get there and our aircard doesn't work. Cute huh? Without that I can't run our business, not okay. We did however go in the casino to blow off some steam upon arrival, played $5 won $60, left immediately.

So we started researching places with free camping, good reception and a decent size town where there might be work. We decided Needles, CA wasn't far and had all these things. Let me put it this way, free camping is so far out of town that it would be just a waste of all the money you made to drive to it and this "camping" was a desert road it may ot may not have been illegal to be on.

What now?! Well we can either go north to Vegas, No. We can go West to LA, No. We can go south to the salton sea, which does have the appeal of being a "fringe" town and good reception but there's no way we'll find a job. Or very north, the closest decent size town being Lone Pine, CA. Well after much debate, angst, and worry we decided we'd take our chances with Lone Pine. It's a tourist town right at the base of Mt Whitney, both beautiful and with tourist season coming up potential jobs.

So we set out. The stretch of I-40, 58, and 395 we terrifying! When you are in a large box-ey RV and there are hurricane force winds whipping across desert, salt flats, and hills hitting you directly in the side and you are slamming on the wheel just to stay slightly in the road, it is nerve racking! Of course every time someone passes you or someone comes at you from the other direction the wind comes through an it's nearly impossible not to veer straight through their windshield. Also Barstow, CA sucks, the end.
We arrived, intact and frazzled 6 hours later. I'll tell you what though, this is a beautiful town and a gorgeous campground sitting at the base of an amazing set of mountains. As long as one of us can find a little part time job we will definitley be here for awhile. This is awesome!
Also, I added a whole bunch new stuff while we were driving. Check it out!

1,000 sales!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


***In honor of our 1,000 sale, between now and midnight on Monday you will receive 25% OFF YOUR ENTIRE ORDER (not including shipping and will be refunded via Paypal within 24 hours)!

http://www.etsy.com/shop/TwoIndustriousFerret

Creating a Brand is Such an Intense Thought...

Heck, you're no mega-corporation. You don't have a marketing team and a fleet of graphic designers. How on Earth is one little crafter who is trying floating in the sea that is the internet supposed to do that?

Well, let's talk about one facet that is pretty simple but very overlooked. This is one I think we do a good job with, so I feel comfortable talking about it. Part of branding is creating personality that is unique to you and your product. It distinguishes you from the masses and makes you memorable.

1) Don't be so uptight!

Obviously, if you're a jerk: don't do that. What I'm trying to say though is: if you're a sarcastic, happy, goofy person... use it to your advantage. Don't be afraid to write your policies and announcement with silly little remarks. It gives your shop life, if done right. Read ours, it is professional yet amusing. It tells you who we are and why without being annoying. Don't be so stoic: people want to know that there is a real person behind your business.

That's what sets Etsy apart from other online buying venues. It's handmade, so give everything the life of something made by a real person. When you send people e-mails, don't pretend your customer service rep for Comcast. We deal with enough of those all ready, and VERY few people like dealing with those. If your "business persona" isn't your real persona, it'll be exhausting to keep up.

2) Create an awesome name.

What sticks out to you more: "Stone Beads LLC" Or "Two Industrious Ferrets Supply Co"? I don't know about you, but I'm personally more intrigued by the thought of adorable little ferrets than "Hey, we got beads." That's just me, though. Obviously, you want said name to correlate to what you do. It needs to make sense. I had to add the Supply Co to the end because, frankly, two industrious ferrets could be a number of things. In context of Supply Co., it makes sense. Ferrets are notorious for gathering shiny things, beads are shiny... you see where this is going?

Green Giraffe Candles has nothing to do with anything, unless you're using giraffe milk as the base of your candles, and something tells me that's rather illegal. I know the name of your two sons has sentiment to you, but it doesn't for the rest of the world. Nor does "Makeup Designer". Okay, well; what kind of makeup do you design, whats it feels, what colors do you provide, what age range is it geared at, what do you care about?

3) Now take your name and make a fantastic graphic!

I made one myself at first, it was cute but nothing spectacular (if your still small and/or have no ambitions of being anything more then a hobby, go with this. No pint is wasting money right?). I decided when we arrived at 500 sales, I quit my job, and started doing this Etsy thing full time that if I was going to be serious I needed a serious graphic. If you suck at computers/design then do yourself a favor and just pay someone (if your going for the humorous cartoon look this guy is fantastic: http://www.etsy.com/shop/Coconauta). Now here's where you need to start pondering how YOUR personality fits in with your shop, becuase it needs to be translated into your graphic. Your graphic is basically your face on the internet, you have an opportunity to show who you are and be memorable. Take it.

If your a sweet, graceful, well spoken woman don't pretend to be loud and bright becuase you think that is what will sell your stuff, pick a soft, elegant, wispy graphic. If your loud, forward, sarcastic pick a bright, bold, goofy graphic (can you guess which I am?). It needs to reflect you, and fit in with this whole "being you" thing I keep talking about. And, don't forget make sure it is something eye catching, beige damask is NOT eye catching. Something that will translate into a memorable image, whatever that may be.

4) Now brand EVERYTHING

Use the SAME image for your avatar, banner, facebook profile picture, blog header, your twitter avatar, etc... EVERYTHING! They say it takes someone about 7x of going through a shop, hearing something, reading something before it sinks in or it correlates into a purchase (I have no idea if this is accurate, but it sounds pretty good doesn't it?). If your constantly changing your avatar from your cat to your daughter, to a penguin eating sushi how will say someone in the forums remember you?

Pick something you love and stick with it, it will build your brand through that image, people will start seeing your penguin eating sushi all the time and be like "oh there is that sushi eating penguin again, that is hilarious!" I'm known for my purple shade wearing ferret as my avatar in the forums, why? I picked something amusing and I stuck with it! Heck I even get emails just to tell me that me avatar/name makes them smile everytime they see it, you just can't put a price on that!

Also, Read this:
http://www.modishblog.com/biztips/2008/09/4-things-you-need-to-do-to-build-your-brand-image.html

*Throughout are graphics of shops that I think CONSISTENTLY brand themselves and use their personality to their advantage. I encourage you to check them out and study their design and lingo throughout their entire shop and all over the rest of the internet.

Shops used as examples:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/seababejewelry
http://www.etsy.com/shop/beebeebee
http://www.etsy.com/shop/TwoIndustriousFerret
http://www.etsy.com/shop/mixedspecies
http://www.etsy.com/shop/rpfeikgraphics

"Hipster Conformity is a Disease of the Soul"

Today, just a picture...



Tomorrow (perhaps) a blog on branding/personality in your shop (need to do just a smidge more reading)

The Reseller Witch Hunt Begins in Earnest

I blathered a little about this yesterday elsewhere. So, I'll elaborate just a tad. Feel free to Inquisitionize me if you wish.

The reseller frenzy on Etsy is peaking with a fever pitch. If you were to go off the Site Help section of the forums, reselling on Etsy might be a greater threat than climate change/global warming/global cooling/global whatever and that there terrorisms. Resellers will eat your children, set your house on fire, and replace the contents of your bank account with fake Gucci bags.

Before you consider me being a pro-reseller, I'm just going to tell you we two lovely ferrets do not support reselling. We don't condone the pushing of knock off junk on Etsy either. It's not good for anyone on Etsy.

With that pesky factoid out of the way, I'd also like to say we really don't give a flying squirrel about hunting them all down and bring them to e-justice either. Maybe we have better things to do. Maybe they haven't come to our door and forced us to buy knock offs yet. Maybe they haven't stole our hard earned money. Maybe I can spot a knock off merchant from 1000 yards away. Maybe we're just jaded.

It's not that these people shouldn't be reported. Go ahead and report Hello Kitty factory junk straight off the boat from China. Go ahead and report people selling Glade candles as handmade. That's the right thing to do.

However, my biggest problem is the people who spend most of their day bitching and whining about resellers in the forum. It's like they're just itching for some sort of crusade. You come into the forums, post page after page of how resellers hurt your business, and spend all day hunting them. It's not hard to see that it might not be the resellers hurting your business there, bucko. It's the fact that instead of working hard at your shop, you're off hunting straw men. You complain it's ruining Etsy's reputation. Maybe so. Frankly, I spend most of the day on my side and resold items barely register on my radar. You have to be looking pretty darn hard to find them. Etsy is NOT eBay yet, nor will it probably ever be. Stop thinking that a tiny handful of bad apples are singly going to ruin everything and leave us bankrupt. That's reactionary junk at it's finest.

So, now the completely competent at everything Etsy administration is asking for our help in fighting the reseller problem. How could that ever go wrong? It's not like history is not filled with activities like that which went horribly and fatally astray. Before I get reamed for comparing Etsy fighting resellers with the Holocaust and the US Communism episode, they're not completely comparable. There are small parallels, though.

Mark my words: This won't end where people want it to. As an amateur history buff, stuff like this always goes badly. Always. It won't be long before good, honest shops end up labeled as resellers. It won't be long before good vintage folk come under the long hard gaze of suspicion. It won't be long after that when all supply shops start receiving nasty glares.

The resellers need to be stopped, but having Etsy react the way they did is going to be a serious issue. If you see an resold item, report it. Report it twice. Whatever. That's noble and great. Seriously.

Just don't join the hysteria. Or do go ahead and join the hysteria. I can't force you to choose. Whatever you choose, when things go badly, remember that this little ferret tried to say something. And if I'm totally wrong, and this whole war against resellers succeeds, we all win.

So, to close all of this long winded junk up: Choose what you do wisely. Don't let the battle keep you from tending to your shop. Make sure not to hurt any innocent people. And, this is important, do not try and sell your baby on Etsy. That's the kind of stuff that brings bad attention. And a whole trainload of cheesy jokes.

Mark it 8, Dude
The Surly Ferret

And now, a long plodding screed about the benefits of austerity.

You want to know what my one indulgence is?

Every other day, I buy a Full Throttle energy drink and a single Chocodile. They make those mornings absolutely wonderful. I always feel guilty buying them, but it's the last link I have to a life I once lived.

I'm not going to bore anyone with details here. This isn't going to turn into a crazy manifesto about how capitalism needs to burn in the fires of hell. This is just the thoughts of one guy who felt his life being annihilated by the system in which we lived.

I had a job. I sat at a desk all day. I was getting fat. My hours sucked. I never slept. I was puking blood. I hardly ever got to see my wife. The pay was crap. The commute was even more crap. We had a cute house. We paid too much to rent it. The neighbors all sucked. Whine, whine, whine.

This is said to provide context for the rest of the story. We tried to live by society's standards and practices. We tried our damnedest. It wasn't working. The harder I tried, the more I kept dreaming of what else was out there. Scaling the highest mountains, driving a muscle car through the desert at sunset, laying on a beach in Mexico. These never happened. Instead, it was just the same routine for almost all days. A soul crushing routine. My life was just a tool to make other people rich and powerful, and I knew it. There's nothing you can do about that.

Well, there was something that could be done about it. And, it happened. I, for one, thank God for making it all work. I can only chalk it up to God. Sometimes, things happen too perfectly. He didn't make it easy, but it worked. That's all I can say about that.

With all this, most of the staples of modern existence are missing from our lives.

We don't have any TV. If we did, it sure wouldn't be a 52" inch HDTV. What the hell is the point? Life isn't lived through a giant rectangle. With the money you spent on that piece of crap, you could have actually done something interesting. Oh well, your loss.

I haven't seen a shopping center in weeks. We went into a Walmart almost 2 months ago, and even after being away from civilization for 2 weeks, it was too much to grasp. I don't know if I could handle going to one now. There's just too much.

I don't know what movies are new and hip. I don't want to know. They're all crap.

What's more important are the things I've gained.

Plain tortilla chips have become exciting. I've seen my first jackrabbit, roadrunner, and quail. The sunsets are even more beautiful than I've ever known. I don't even know what an alarm clock is good for. All of my newest friends are over 65 years old. Vanilla ice cream finally became delicious. Branson seems like someplace I'd actually WANT to visit. I've known what not having a neighbor within a mile is like. I've learned to sleep on my back. I can identify rocks. I don't give a damn about Tiger Woods. And, etc. The list is huge, and no one cares. I'm happy with no one caring.

Simplicity is wonderful. I can finally pay attention to life.

I don't know if the rest of the world felt the way I did. I'm most likely insane as hell. I do know, however, that I get this feeling most of us are unhappy. I sense this feeling in people like we're all cows led to the slaughterhouse.

All I can say to that is: free your yoke, leave it all behind, and there's a slight chance you might find what you were missing. Because, let's be honest, what's missing in life isn't the following: Olive Garden, sports games, overcomplicated cell phones, nightlife, BMW, $400,000 houses, a career for a company who really doesn't care about you, and a well manicured kentucky bluegrass yard.

And if that is what's missing from your life...

Sucks to be you. I'm sure you'll make a tasty hamburger.

Mark it 8, Dude
Dave The Cranky Ferret